Oh boy.. Where do I start... I broke down in the hospital as they took him away and popped a little blood vessel in my eyeball. I knew that if they didn't take him fast enough I would break down into a million pieces.
There was a split second after I said goodbye to him that I changed my mind. I wanted to yell...
"Please don't take him! I've changed my mind! I want him back and you can't have him!"...
But instead I ran...
As soon as the door shut behind me I could hear myself screaming from far away...
(Thoughts inside my head- What if his heart stops? This will be all my fault for fighting as hard as I did. Why am I being so selfish? Other parents go through worse! What if he'll hate me for putting him through this? He's missing school and he'll fall behind. This is going to affect him emotionally, I just know it. Why did I ask his dad to come? I've been doing this alone for years! I'm doing it for my son. My son needs his father to be here. He SHOULD be here. He SHOULD be going through this with me. I know... I'll buy my baby a giraffe from the gift shop)...
GIRAFFE?? .... Yes giraffe!
The pediatric area of the hospital has a "giraffe elevator" and I teased my son about it when I saw it. I told him they found out he is the tallest kid in his grade so they built an elevator tall enough for a giraffe so he would fit haha. Everyone laughed.. (I forbid anyone from coming that couldn't control their emotions so I made sure to make everything funny and talk about our plans after the surgery).
This was taken right before the surgery... They brought him an xbox so he wouldn't be bored.
Can we say awesome sauce?!
Boy was he grumpy after the procedure... No visitors please!
It only lasted about 30 minutes..
Here's my happy boy! Lets go home mom!
OMG THANK YOU GOD WE'RE HOME
So of course his bff furbaby (Hercules pom/chihuahua mix) had to suffer being away from his best friend because he could accidentally open his incisions. I was so grateful that no one was calling my phone and they were giving me space. The house was quiet and he had to lay flat. We did this for about a week including giving him Motrin and having followup appointments. Of course this entire time I didn't sleep. I needed to get up every 20 minutes because he needed something... even throughout the night. I figured it was like having a baby again and getting up every 2 hours so I just sucked it up and did it with a smile. Everything was finally OK. We were going to be OK. He was starting to have more energy and walking a lot more. I really thought we were finally in the clear. Then....
OMG PLEASE NOT AGAIN.. GOD PLEASE...
Do you see the giraffe?
My Baby- "Mom..." (as he comes in the kitchen clutching his chest)
ME- "omg. Whats wrong"
My Baby- "My heart.... it hurts I cant breathe..."
ME- "ok I'm calling 911 lay down and stay calm so your body can help your heart, slow breathes baby"
ME- (omg not again. I thought this was over. I will have their heads if something went wrong!)
Everything went so fast. We ended up in the ambulance being transferred from the palm springs area all the way to Loma Linda Hospital. The local hospital was too scared to see him, they thought it was best to take him back where the doctors knew his situation.
At the hospital I was angry and I wasn't leaving without answers. They ran every test they could before finally coming to the conclusion that his heart was perfectly healthy now and it was just the nerves that were irritated and his muscles were strained because they had to travel to his heart touching things on the way and stressing the muscles of the heart.
(I knew exactly what to do... mom to the rescue.)....
In the car on the way back home..
Someone was exhausted...
Giraffe is still his comfort buddy..
When I got home with him I gave him 500mg of Magnesium Citrate to relax his nerve endings and 200mg of L-Theanine to relax his mind and body so he wouldn't have anxiety. Did this work? YES! When it comes to my baby I follow my motherly instincts. He has not been able to participate in recess yet or vigorous activities but he is stronger everyday. When I asked him how he feels now he said,
" .... I really feel the blood flowing through my heart and I don't run out of breathe anymore when I try to walk fast. I feel like I have a brand new heart. I feel like I can do anything now. I can even take really deep breathes now."
ME AGAIN: Thank god and the prayers from everyone who knew what was going on....
Stay tuned for next weeks blog showing how he's currently doing! :D
Life is full of ups and downs.. What matters most is how you handle it..
Take life by the bull horns! It's YOUR life! Take charge!