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Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Heart Surgery Update!

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          Oh boy.. Where do I start... I broke down in the hospital as they took him away and popped a little blood vessel in my eyeball. I knew that if they didn't take him fast enough I would break down into a million pieces.
There was a split second after I said goodbye to him that I changed my mind. I wanted to yell...
"Please don't take him! I've changed my mind! I want him back and you can't have him!"...
But instead I ran...
As soon as the door shut behind me I could hear myself screaming from far away...
 (Thoughts inside my head- What if his heart stops? This will be all my fault for fighting as hard as I did. Why am I being so selfish? Other parents go through worse! What if he'll hate me for putting him through this? He's missing school and he'll fall behind. This is going to affect him emotionally, I just know it. Why did I ask his dad to come? I've been doing this alone for years! I'm doing it for my son. My son needs his father to be here. He SHOULD be here. He SHOULD be going through this with me. I know... I'll buy my baby a giraffe from the gift shop)...
GIRAFFE?? .... Yes giraffe!
The pediatric area of the hospital has a "giraffe elevator" and I teased my son about it when I saw it. I told him they found out he is the tallest kid in his grade so they built an elevator tall enough for a giraffe so he would fit haha. Everyone laughed.. (I forbid anyone from coming that couldn't control their emotions so I made sure to make everything funny and talk about our plans after the surgery).
This was taken right before the surgery... They brought him an xbox so he wouldn't be bored. 
Can we say awesome sauce?!

Boy was he grumpy after the procedure... No visitors please! 
It only lasted about 30 minutes..

Here's my happy boy! Lets go home mom!

So of course his bff furbaby (Hercules pom/chihuahua mix) had to suffer being away from his best friend because he could accidentally open his incisions. I was so grateful that no one was calling my phone and they were giving me space. The house was quiet and he had to lay flat. We did this for about a week including giving him Motrin and having followup appointments. Of course this entire time I didn't sleep. I needed to get up every 20 minutes because he needed something... even throughout the night. I figured it was like having a baby again and getting up every 2 hours so I just sucked it up and did it with a smile. Everything was finally OK. We were going to be OK. He was starting to have more energy and walking a lot more. I really thought we were finally in the clear. Then....


Do you see the giraffe?

My Baby- "Mom..." (as he comes in the kitchen clutching his chest)
ME- "omg. Whats wrong"
My Baby- "My heart.... it hurts I cant breathe..."
ME- "ok I'm calling 911 lay down and stay calm so your body can help your heart, slow breathes baby"
ME- (omg not again. I thought this was over. I will have their heads if something went wrong!)
Everything went so fast. We ended up in the ambulance being transferred from the palm springs area all the way to Loma Linda Hospital. The local hospital was too scared to see him, they thought it was best to take him back where the doctors knew his situation.
At the hospital I was angry and I wasn't leaving without answers. They ran every test they could before finally coming to the conclusion that his heart was perfectly healthy now and it was just the nerves that were irritated and his muscles were strained because they had to travel to his heart touching things on the way and stressing the muscles of the heart.
(I knew exactly what to do... mom to the rescue.)....
In the car on the way back home..
Someone was exhausted...
Giraffe is still his comfort buddy..

When I got home with him I gave him 500mg of Magnesium Citrate to relax his nerve endings and 200mg of L-Theanine to relax his mind and body so he wouldn't have anxiety. Did this work? YES! When it comes to my baby I follow my motherly instincts. He has not been able to participate in recess yet or vigorous activities but he is stronger everyday. When I asked him how he feels now he said,
" .... I really feel the blood flowing through my heart and I don't run out of breathe anymore when I try to walk fast. I feel like I have a brand new heart. I feel like I can do anything now. I can even take really deep breathes now."
ME AGAIN: Thank god and the prayers from everyone who knew what was going on....

Stay tuned for next weeks blog showing how he's currently doing! :D 
Life is full of ups and downs.. What matters most is how you handle it..
Take life by the bull horns! It's YOUR life! Take charge!

Monday, June 8, 2015

From where I stand: Before the surgery..

          Is it normal that I'm angry? Is it normal that I feel like I'm dieing inside? When the doctor said "ok then it's a done deal" why did I feel like my legs went out from under me? I thought I prepared myself for this? Here I am asking my mom in spanish to hold me because I'm about to pass out. I told her in spanish to stay calm and not look obvious because I didn't want to scare my son. Inside of me my whole world is falling apart and I'm screaming but I have to look at my perfect boy with a smile and tell him everything  is going to be ok. 
          "How are you feeling baby? SON: "a little nervous but I feel better after talking to the doctor. ME: "So you're feeling confident? Cause I want you to feel confident". SON: "yah mom I'm ok. I just want to know when it's going to happen so I can let my teacher and tae-kwon-do teacher know". 
ME: "I will take care of everything. I don't want you to be worried about anything. I love you son....". 
My Inner most personal feelings:
I just want to run...
Let's run as fast as we can and this problem won't catch us...
Can we please?
If we beg really hard, do you think we can do it?
Am I the most selfish mother on the planet for wanting my child to be as perfect as possible when I know other parents go through so much worse?
Is this why I binge ate yesterday? To punish myself for the things I feel? I lost 25 lbs and now I will go backwards because I am an emotional eater who stuffs feelings with food so the feelings don't have room to come up to the surface.....

          When he has an episode and has a heart arrhythmia I watch him helplessly. I beg god not to let his heart stop, not to let him die on me, not to let him be the youngest kid in America who has a heart attack. I don't let him feel sorry for himself. I teach him to push through things because life is tough and if you fall apart you accomplish nothing. I hold high expectations for him, I stress the need for the best grades and being a great citizen and not bullying and helping someone who is being bullied at the cost of losing friends because it's more important to be a good person.....
          He told me how he defended someone who was being bullied and how angry he felt because he is such a happy person. I've told him how his father changed a boys life in high school because he defended him.. 
         And here we are the next day, trying to schedule his heart procedure? How is this fair? Where's the balance? Here I go being selfish again. I think? I gave everything up in my life to be the mom he needed and be the best mom I could be including reading books and doing research on exactly how to do this because I've had a rough upbringing and all I know is that it has to be opposite of what I had and what I went through. I said goodbye to my Hollywood dreams without thinking twice. I live vicariously through maria menounos and giuliana rancic because I know that it could have been me. My son has given me a joy and sense of passion and strength I never knew I had inside of me. We have this bond so deep that I can't relate to people who hurt their children. I can't wrap my head around people who put themselves before their kids. (I get in trouble alot for putting my needs on the back burner constantly. I'm told it's ok to do things for myself once in a while. I would include this blog as something that is all me and makes me happy. If I inspire one person then it's all worth it....).
He has this entire month off and I know I wont have a minute to myself to cry it out. Every minute I feel like I'm going to burst into tears.. I cant talk to anyone on the phone because I dont want him to hear me talking about it. So I'm texting instead.. I took him out to one of our favorite restaurants and out for icecream to distract his mind a little. It was our family date day. I have always had faith in god even in the darkest times and this is a true test. I feel like I have had the oxygen taken right out of my lungs and a permanent knot in my throat. Thank You for reading... Im putting my heart and feelings out there to the world... -Divapinks-

This is us right before the appointment in the waiting room. 

His favorite.. Vanilla Bean Frapp. from Starbucks. Trying to spoil him a little.. :)

Icecream makes everything better lol.. 

This is what they gave me at the Heart Institute.. This is what he's having done.
There is a ton to read, its a pretty lengthy little booklet. It answers a ton of questions.

There is a 98% chance that if all goes well he will never have
heart problems again in his life. We have no family history of 
heart disease or trouble. 

If you've gotten this far I just want to say thank you to everyone 
being supportive and showing us so much love. I love you all and if 
I say this out loud I will cry and who knows when I will stop. Again, thank you for well wishes and prayers being sent our way... I will update again when he comes out of the procedure and we've made it home..

Friday, May 22, 2015

My weekend. .

Where do I start really? Ok well its the weekend of my little sisters 18th birthday party and I'll share with you some of the pics I took this weekend. I was as sick as a dog this weekend and I realized I was sick last year almost to the day with the same exact thing (whats up with that?). Anyway it's Monday and I'm still sick but what can I do. I already went to the doctor so all I can do is take the meds and rest. (Yah right, Im working later for a couple of hours :/ Ok so here are the pics! Enjoy!

Of Course you can always count on the wind 
in our city to give you a great hair day no matter 
how much time you spent in the bathroom making it look just right...

I thought she hated pink? (But I loooovvveeee pink lol)

My feet couldn't take anymore... :(

No matter how old you are you can count on a mexican 
household to smash your face in your cake for your birthday. Even 
if you ARE turning 18 hahaha.

Best Mexican candy you can ask for! (Well there goes my diet grrrrr.)

Oh yah.. everyone was commenting on my weight loss
and how great I looked so of course I had to sneak in a pic lol.

AAAWWW Happy 18th birthday sister!!
Her cake said "Happy Birthday La Patrona"
(It means Happy Birthday Boss Lady in spanish haha)

Can you tell I look as good as I feel. No matter how
sick we feel, it is mandatory to be there for family even when your
sick... No really, she only turns 18 once and I was there when she was born so 
I had to be there when she turned 18. Overall this was a crazy and fun weekend.
I love my family!
There's the suitcase I bought her lol!! She said "what are you trying to give me a hint?! Hahaha!" 

Monday, March 2, 2015

This time last year... March 2014

          The month of March is a crazy busy time for my entire family. We tremble with anxiety every year with the approach of march. For the rest of the world it's the holidays but for us its march hahaha. So in march we have 6 birthdays and this year we're approaching the dirty thirties which makes it really action packed. This time last year we celebrated my boyfriend and son's birthday at Big Bear, California. It was a 2 for 1/ vacation included 3 for 1 trip haha. Hope that made sense. Anyway, it was the best time we've had so far. I definitely recommend this place to anyone visiting the palm springs area. It's about an hour away I believe,  but totes worth it. 

          All the march babies have to be included in a mass text to figure out who gets which weekend, and this year all the birthdays are evenly spread out enough. 

          I will post a mass blog of all the march birthday activities that happen this month. With everything we have going on, some distraction will be good for our emotional health. 

          Yes I brought my 4 dogs but this was the best pic of my baby and I (Charlotte). My pitbull was in the worst mood because she hates the cold. I had to wrap her in her own thick blanket along with her jacket and doggy blanket. She's quite the diva haha. 

          Omg. I mean really! Omg. You have no idea how afraid of heights I am! I cried like a baby! But I did it! Of course my son has absolutely no fear for adventures haha and said to me, "face your fears mom. C'mon you can do it". He got in ready to fly the thing himself! Haha. This was about 15 minutes from our campsite. 

          She loooooovvvvveeeeesssss the outdoors. When it's not freezing of course because then you'll hear her growl. Can you see how big their smiles are?! :D Oh let's not ignore that sassy pink jacket she's wearing ;D
          My favorite picture... They were so excited, happy, and relaxed.. It was our first time camping and it was quite the experience. Oh and you kknnooooowwwww we had s'mores honeeeeyyy.. 

Ok I was a little car sick... But my hair looked good! :D (cheeeeesssseeee)..

          How beautiful was our campsite... Our neighbors were cordial and nice. TIP: When camping you're sure to forget something. Be kind and share with your neighbors. Bring 2 of everything because you never know. (Omg yes I bought toilet seat covers. And guess what? We needed them! Ha!).

Thanks for Reading! With Love, 
Your Co-Mommy,Divapinks

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Moms don't go to the restroom.... They go on a getaway! !

          I know I'm not the first or the last mom to find refuge in the restroom.  It's the one place I can sit with my thoughts and not be interrupted.  Single moms don't even get this luxury.  So I have a solution, (I think anyway haha) why not try to switch things up and have family reading time. Some people do not like to read, however if you find a book that reflects the type of shows you like to watch it can be a great getaway.  Into romance?  Find a romance novel. Sitting with your children while they read allows you to escape into the story into a world far from your own. Option 2- read just before bed. If you're a new mom or have older kids chances are you don't go out much or even get TV time for that matter. Do you have ideas for mommy ME time? Share!
Healthy mom, Healthy baby. 
                                          Love, your Co - mommy,  DivaPinks

What goes on in our mind...

aaaaahhhhhh.... paradise.....

We can dream can't we?.....

Friday, February 20, 2015

#TBT to the Indio Date Festival Feb.13

          What an awesome tradition we have if I do say so myself. Every year since I was a kid in a poor neighborhood,  the one thing I knew I could count on was the yearly date festival (the fair!). I love that I continue this tradition with my son. He's an only child so although he didn't have anyone to get on the rides with this year it didn't phase him too much. He found kids to befriend and make small talk with. This is an amazing place for families and because it only comes around once a year for a week it's even more exciting. Now that we go with my boyfriend of 2 years we have adopted a new tradition and that's the famous oversized, probably not healthy, protein overload, TURKEY LEG! Haha. This is the highlight for my son and boyfriend. I wish I could have vlogged it to show everyone but I'll give you a little appetizer with some pics lol. Because we were there on the first day before 1pm we entered for free. My son's unlimited ride bracelet was $25 and we spent a little less than $120 on the 3 of us for food, including the kettle corn I buy for my mom every year located in the kitty ride section. (She gets excited when we go too lol). If you want to know more about places and events that happen in the Coachella Valley, leave a comment below and let know! Thanks for reading! Your Co-Mommy, DivaPinks
Turkey Leg!! yum yum yum yum yum.

Trying to steal the spotlight lol.
Some girls were being rude so she shooed them 
all away and took a nice picture with my baby ;D
My son representing for Animal Samaritans while trying to stay cool.
(It was warmer than expected even for the desert lol)
Nice face son haha
Is it me or does he not look so sure?I was so scared to let him get 
on here because of his heart but I can't hold him back from living 
life to the fullest. I smiled then turned around almost passing out from fear.
He's such an animal lover! My little cutie patootie... :)

Friday, January 23, 2015

Project 52, week 3, guilty pleasure

Gee I wonder what this girls guilty pleasure is lol! I'm a couple weeks late because I didn't know about this project link up but I'm so excited to participate. My ultimate obsession and guilty pleasure is..... you guessed it.  Icecream!!!! I can have it all day err day but then I'd ruin my current diet so we are currently on a break. (We're broken up right now but we'll make up when my body is ready for ice cream again.. wish us luck). #ourproject52 -Divapinks
Link over at

Friday, January 16, 2015

I'm not wearing ANYTHING... EVER.. Until I lose some weight..

          Have you ever felt like you would rather walk around your house naked and not go anywhere than to keep trying on your own clothes that are just not fitting today. Have you ever felt like you are trying to put on some skinny persons clothes. You're probably asking where your closet went. After all, you did make every purchase yourself.  ANYWAY! This is how I feel today. When I pms I feel like I gain 10 pounds. I feel like I need a whole separate closet with bigger sizes. But I neeeeedddd salt during that time! You may only be able to relate if you are an emotional eater, have weight problems yourself or know someone who does. (sorry emotional moment there lol) SOOOO, I will drink only water today and make it to Zumba even though my back feels like someone is taking a permanent vacation on my spine. I can complain or I can get to Zumba right? Is anyone an emotional eater? Do you gain a baby in weight when you pms? Please do tell.. how do you cope? What have you done? #sharingiscaring
               Much love, your Co-Mommy, Divapinks


Monday, January 12, 2015

#vitaminhaul on my youtube channel!

Vitamin Haul on my Youtube Channel!!

          I just started vlogging and I find it to be quite fun, (nerve wrecking lol), and a great challenge to push myself to do things that are scary, (like puuting yourself out there for the whole world to criticize lol). I really hope you enjoy watching the video. I definitely took my time and I was nrevous to make it but I think it turned out pretty good. I suffer from fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, and the vitamins I take have given me my life back. I've posted pictures below (closeups) of some of the vitamins I talked about in the video. Its best to watch the video because I mention ones that I did not post a picture of here in the blog. I love going to vitamin world and I mention why also in the video. If you have any questions I would be glad to answer them to the best of my ability. You can leave a comment below or a comment under the video. Thanks in advance for watching and giving me your time. Sincerely Your Co-Mommy, Divapinks! 

Friday, January 9, 2015

Cordially Invited! #Youtube

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Calling all Co-Mommies!!!

-You are hereby cordially invited to-

DivaPinks Youtube Mommy Video Blog!

My next video will be on the discussion of health and all the vitamins I take for depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia and overall health. Stay tuned on my Instagram to know when the video will be posted! 

Thanks in advance for the support and views!!!

With Love, Your Co-Mommy

#mommyblogger #mommyvlogger #vlogger #vitaminhaul #vitamins #blogger #lifestyleblogger #health 

My new #vlogging #youtube adventure!!

Calling all Co-Mommies!!!

-You are hereby cordially invited to-

DivaPinks Youtube Mommy Video Blog!

My next video will be on the discussion of health and all the vitamins I take for depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia and overall health. 
Stay tuned on my Instagram to know when the video will be posted! 
Thanks in advance for the support and views!!!

With Love, Your Co-Mommy

#mommyblogger #mommyvlogger #vlogger #vitaminhaul #vitamins #blogger #lifestyleblogger #health 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Im your Co-Mommy!

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

          I thought I would write about this before I run out the door and walk a mile to pick my son up from school (no really...I'm about to leave one hour before to be on time...). I have never seen it written anywhere and today on June 26, 2014 I claim that I came up with the term "co-mommy". From what I have learned so far, bloggers are writers in a community of mothers and women who talk all things important to well "girls!" Aren't we all just little girls wanting to play dress up at heart anyway? :D Anyway, so, just like we have co-workers when we go to work that we have to learn to be nice to and have respect for, the same applies in the blogger community. So just as we have co-workers we have co-mommys. We are all in this imaginary building working together to create a more peaceful community where we are raising our children to be successful and great citizens who contribute to society in a positive way. This blog was inspired by @heleneinbetween on twitter when she said "thank you" in response to a comment I left her. I responded as being her co-mommy and although all of my blogs end with "Sincerely, your Co-Mommy" I realized I could write about how I came up with it and my heartfelt thoughts behind it. I love the hashtag #sharingiscaring which I also use alot, and in the spirit of #sharingiscaring I will provide the link to her blog. :) I will be honest and say I really like her blog and the things she says. I know Im a newbie at this but its nice to read others points of view and know that if we met in person we could be friends. On your blogs you pour your heart out and you really get to know other people as well as them knowing you. Thats how you know you can relate and be friends with certain people. Ok. Here I go for my walk! :D

                       Your Co-Mommy, signing out!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Son Bragging Saturday

          I keep my son very very busy with after school adventures. He has always been in soccer,  baseball, art, and now piano and tae-kwon-do including critter camp and art camp which he received a scholarship for :') Ok so, sometimes it is possible to overload kids schedules a little bit.  I have always required that he choose at least one to two activities.  I want him to be social and independent and grab life by the horns honey! Well... my son may be a little too social because he sometimes makes adult friends and I have to remind him the dangers of the world and that it is only ok when I am around. Moving on... This summer he has art camp, critter camp, piano lessons,  and tae-kwon-do.  I never force him to take certain classes or be involved in certain activities. This is our mommy and me game plan.
-- If you start you have to finish. Quitting is not an option in this family and a decision to try something new must be thought out carefully.
-- If after finishing you realize you didn't enjoy it you may opt - out of signing up again and pick a new sport or activity.
I often see kids signed up for sports or activities that they just truly do not enjoy. I see them cry and look miserable and I'll ask sometimes if it's their first time and moms will tell me. -oh no its his 2nd or 3rd year or no he's just sensitive or a crybaby or that's why we keep bringing him so that he'll grow thick skin or toughen up.- Meanwhile I'm thinking if the kid is good at something else like being an artist the world and him are missing out. I have a son so most activities involve boys. Allow your children to try it all and ENCOURAGE THEM TO TRY NEW THINGS!  Not being scared to try new things is such an important skill to being a successful adult. I never put more on my son's plate than he can handle.  He's the one who says, "mom I want to sign up for this too" and my job is to make it happen. Granted if you don't have the money don't be afraid to ask if scholarships are available. There is so much respect (or should be) for moms who at least try. No one is perfect but as a loving mom I try my best. P.S. I'm that embarrassing mom that yells "good job baby!"  oh well... my intentions are good.
Have a wonderful Saturday and each one after today.
        Love, Your Co-Mommy,  DivaPinks

Friday, June 20, 2014

Gasoline Vultures!

I feel like I only work to put gas in the dang car! My reaction when it's time to fill up again? Dangit! Gas Again??!! Ugh! Grrrrrrrr... There should be a "those with kids discount"! Lol I don't drive to the club anymore I drive to piano, art class, church for Sunday school. Why you ask? So tax payers dollars don't have to one day go to paying for his rent in a Jail cell! Ok.... I'm calm now.  :)

Your Co-Mommy, DivaPinks

Friday, May 30, 2014

Week 1 training in my new life. ..

          I have so much to say about graduation that... it's almost overwhelming.. I left all my anger, regret, sadness, and bad memories on that stage. I made sure that I didn't fall because my legs were wobbling by walking steady and slow. I realize that when you move on into the future sometimes people are still living in the past. A place I once was. . A place where you have many saying "I'm not done but I'm still going", and where the struggle is still very much alive. ..where everyone is hustling everyday to get that extra money and find financial freedom... I start this new journey just like everyone else now... trying to apply for jobs like crazy...and having this weird feeling come over me because now I'm allowed to fill out the form knowing that at the moment of submission my degree is speaking for me...After 10 years I now have something that says I am someone and I am worth something. My son can hold his head high and strive to be where I've been and beyond. . I've never been so ready and sure of myself as I am now. I'm ready to show that I have a lot to offer this world....